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by Keith Ray.
Original Post: Debate Instead of Dialog
Feed Title: MemoRanda
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Many people in the software biz respond to an attempt at conversation with a rebuttal. This isn't dialog, it's debate. It's one of the reasons software developers have developed a reputation for poor social skills. Do you do this? Here's a symptom: your replies to someone else often start with the word "but". Examples:
Dialogger: "It was raining this morning."
Debater: "But it's not raining now."
Dialogger: "We could have found this bug a long time ago if we had written a unit test for [some condition]."
Debater: "But unit tests can't find all bugs."
By starting with "but", you don't give credit to the other person for their idea, even if you agree with it. Try restating their ideas before responding with your ideas or disagreements.