This post originated from an RSS feed registered with Web Buzz by Josh Baltzell. Original Post: Altercations with a pop machine Feed Title: ShortDomainName.com Feed URL: http://www.contegix.com/Rss.aspx Feed Description: Weblog of Josh Baltzell. Focusing on the computer industry and .NET programming related news. I like to get involved on the discussions wherever they are. Latest Web Buzz Posts Latest Web Buzz Posts by Josh Baltzell Latest Posts From ShortDomainName.com

The pop machine at work is my arch nemesis.  For those of you that talk all stupid I am talking about a soda machine.

Today when attempting to purchase a refreshing Pepsi Cola we tangled.  I inserted my currency, made my choice and pressed the button.  No response.  I pressed harder and started jamming the button around left and right.  The screen responded "SOLD OUT" on it's tiny red screen that is capable of displaying about three malformed letters at a time.  I shook it off, I could make another choice.  So I chose Mountain Dew.  The machine politely flashed VEND (Great customer service) and whirled in to action.  After a moment the drink fell down the chute and landed in apparently was a pool of water waiting for it.  The splash hit me in the legs and sprayed on to the floor.  Fair enough.

Then the change was coming.  As usual it clanked down and shot itself on to the floor.  Honestly I would rather the pop cost a dollar instead of 90 cents so I could avoid dealing with hunting down the dime (Some level of cheapness makes it impossible for me to leave the dime for dead.)

So after getting the dime out from just under the machine I started to walk away.  The water that had landed all over the floor proved to act as a lubricant.  This made me think for a moment as I began to lose my balance.  I caught myself before falling, but I am pretty sure that this machine is trying to kill me.

Then that made me think of the Sealab 2021 episode where captain Murphy got trapped under a pop machine when trying to buy Mingus Dew.  He befriended a scorpion who stung him on a regular basis, and dealt with a cleaning bot obsessed with making a necklace out of Murphy's teeth.

I laughed to myself as walked away, but I am still pretty sure that the machines want humanity dead and the vending equipment is just doing it's small part.