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B. Stiglitz writes Dear RedHanded Crew:

So, here at work we got the go ahead to cease all new PHP project development. It’s Ruby on Rails with all sorts of Ruby backend fun for us! To celebrate the occasion, we’re moving out of our nice office into a nasty cubicle in the back of our helpdesk. We want to ruby it up, and I figure RedHanded readers can give us ideas.

Well, let’s see.

Dear Stig,

As a young man who grew up having a severely rumpled thumb, I often found myself coming up with new ways to celebrate without falling back on the common “OK” or “Go Right Ahead” hand gestures of my time. As a result, I was forced to become a rather unkempt party animal. I spun the bottle so hard that it became a centrifugal force for everyone’s hair throughout a given room.

So you have but a measley crawlspace with which to brew your mixins? Start by illuminating the joint with this three-tier Genuine Satin Ruby light castle! Or absolutely, yes, the super-inflatable red super stool. Um, but, what about some razzle-dazzle?

Be aware, there won’t be room for you. So be sure to come back so we can help you decorate the second-shelf lettuce crisper you’ll be inhabiting within the office fridge.