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by Warner Onstine.
Original Post: Writing Exercise - Associative Logic
Feed Title: BlackBox
Feed URL: http://feeds.feedburner.com/Blackbox
Feed Description: Where technology and art disappear
Use associative logic in a narration a child tells to an adult. The child can be any age between five and ten. The story itself is a dramatic monologue. Don’t let us hear the adult’s questions or complaints about the anarchic nature of the story— although they can be implied by answers or responses from the child and shifts in the momentum of the story. In this story, the child is trying to tell the adult something important, relating a life-or-death (and very time-sensitive) problem about someone else. The child nevertheless gets lost in the associations— although not to the extent of being unable to tell the story.
Goal - 700 words
Actual - 666 words
What did I like about this exercise?
Fun to write from a different perspective than I normally would. I also got to embrace my tendency to disjointed thought process.
What was challenging about this one?
The disjointed-ness was a little challenging, I sometimes engage in conversation this way, but this was turning the knob to 11 on that :P.
What did I learn?
How to tell a story using only one side of a conversation.
Mommy, mommy, mommy. I need to tell you something. Yes, it's berry important mommy. So, so, so, Bobby, do you 'member Bobby? We met a few weeks ago over at the playground. The one you take me to every weekend. The one with the red slide. I like that red slide. And I like the sandy area too. I know mommy! I'm trying to tell you. 'Member Bobby? We met at the playground with the red slide a few weeks ago? Yeah? OK. Bobby and I were playing that day and he showed me all of his toy soldiers and we had lots of fun. And we became friends. Now we play with his soldiers a lot. One of the soldiers though got eaten or something, his arm is gone and so are his legs. He looks like something cut him up.
I'm trying to tell you. Stooooop. I need to tell you this, OK mommy? So, we played with his toy soldiers a lot and sometimes we play with them down the road. But sometimes we play with them in the front yard. Or over at his house. His mommy is real nice to me too. She brings out milk and cookies sometimes. Or chips, or what do you call them? They're like chips, but not, more buttery sometimes, or more salty other times. What? Yeah, crackers. Sometimes she'll give us chips or, uh, crackers, or cookies. His mommy is real nice. His daddy yells at us sometimes and we just go behind the house. Or sometimes down the road.
Stooop, I'm trying to tell you. Sometimes when we play, we play where the water is. You know? Down the road. I know you said to not go in there when it's raining so we always make sure that it is dry and there are no clouds when we go play. Clouds are fun too. Sometimes we'll lay on the grass and try and guess what each of the clouds is. Most of mine are dogs. I don't know why. Is Max around? I haven't seen him all day. I love Max's ears, they're so fluffy. Where is Max? I want to rub his ears.
Yes, that's blood mommy, but it's not my blood. See? It wipes off. I'm trying to tell you. It's like that one time when I hurt my elbow that one time. It wouldn't stop bleeding until you took me to the 'mergency room. But this just comes right off. See?
So, Bobby, my friend from the playground and I were playing where the water runs. We were running around and chasing each other playing standup army man. I did so good, I got Bobby bunches of times. He got me a few times until he fell. There was blood everywhere, I didn't know what to do so I came to get you so you could help take him to the 'mergency room like you did with me that one time, 'member, with my elbow? Yeah? You'll help Bobby? I'll show you where he is, maybe you can wake him up.
'Member when we had to find Max that one time? We walked around for houuuurs calling his name. But we won't have to do that with Bobby because I know right where he is. Why are you running mommy? Don't you want me to show you where he is? Yeah, he's by the 'avine-y thing where the water flows. But why are you running? Bobby will be fine when we get there, we'll just take him to the 'mergency room, they'll give him some stitches and he'll be as good as ever. Then we can play army men again.
There he is! See, here's Bobby. Why should I go get his parents? Isn't he going to be alright? You're scaring me mommy. What's wrong with Bobby? Can't you wake him up? I know I couldn't but you can right? Why are you pushing on his chest mommy? What's wrong?
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