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A week or so ago, we ran out of our usual supply of real coffee here at the house. You know, you have flavored coffee, like Orange Marmalade Sponge Cake Kiwi Piehole Explosion, and then you have real coffee like, Ethiopian Morning Sumatran Brain Haitian Wedgie. Flavored coffee is terrible, real coffee is, put most simply, what we need to stay alive.

Last night, while getting a dessert, we picked up a small bag of "Celebes Kalossi Coffee." As the label said:

Also known as Sulawesi, this coffee is known for it's low acidity, heavy body, and earthy flavor. It has a nuttty, aftertaste [HEEEEEY-OOOOOO!]. A good all-day coffee. Excellent with chocolate desserts.

After having a few cups, I can honestly tell you, fellow Americans, that, finally, our long, national nightmare is over.