It’s been quite sometime since I’ve felt the need to write-up a movie. That time is now. The Omen remake is terrible. Even the lovely Ms. Kim Skotak has seen fit to write-up some comments on, as she calls it The Suckomen.

I know, I know, you’re saying, “Coté, I could have told you it’d be terrible.” And you’d be right. The primary problem is that it’s a series of events without much story.

That’s the all the often flaw in horror movies. We call it a monster a movie. But, the monster has to be something fascinating and intriguing on its own to hold the movie together: Frankenstein’s monster, Dracula, that black haired kid in The Ring.

Here we just have the anti-christ, but he doesn’t really do anything except scowl and get Rottweiler all hot and bothered for The Bite. But there’s no story for this monster, no explanation. It’s as if the film makers decided all those Gideon’s bibles in Motel 6’s have done all the work for us, and we don’t need to be told anything.

I mean, his mother was literally a jackal. Jesus, there’s a frickin’ story!

As it stands, it’s about a 2 out of 5: watchable if you’re bored and have some beer, but you’d be better catching up with your Feedlounge.

But for the Grace of Pete

Thankfully, as in so many of these movies that I torture myself with in hopes of finding a great one, there was this man:

Mr. Pete Postlethwaite. Sure, he plays that crazy friar role, but, man, he plays it well.

The Omen III

We attempted to salvage the night by testing out the theory: two bad movies equals one good movie. So, we rented The Omen III with Sam Niel. Man, that was a terrible movie for all the same reasons as The Omen remake, but even more so.

When, oh Lord, when, will we start getting good horror movies again?