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The Bile - Hani finds his true voice

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Zohar Melamed

Posts: 28
Nickname: zohar
Registered: Aug, 2003

Zohar Melamed is a Corporate Eejit

The Bile - Hani finds his true voice

Posted: Sep 7, 2003 4:43 AM

This post originated from an RSS feed registered with Java Buzz by Zohar Melamed.
Original Post: The Bile - Hani finds his true voice Feed Title: corporate eejit Feed URL: http://sedoparking.com/search/registrar.php?domain=®istrar=sedopark Feed Description: Insanity is Normal	Latest Java Buzz Posts Latest Java Buzz Posts by Zohar Melamed Latest Posts From corporate eejit

Hani has one of his standard bile rants about XML

I keep feeling he his not really finding his true voice, and as a fan was looking for a solution.

Thanks to boingboing for the link to the English-to-12-Year-Old-AOLer Translator

Take one XML Rant
Insert into the translator
Post result to blog

And hey presto we have the true voice of Hani :

XML IS A STUPID TRANSPORT PRO2COL ITS FRIGHTENNG HOW MANY ENTERPRIES PROJ3CTS INVOLV3 PASNG XML AROUND!1!!!!1 LOL SOM3HOW IN 201 XML BCMA AN ACEPTABLE AND R3ASONABL3 COMUNICATION PRO2COL FOR RAASONS TAHT R 2 THIS DAY QUIET IENXPLICABLA1111! WTF NOW I REALIES TAHT ITS HUMAN R3ADABL3 WHICH MAEKS IT QUIET HANDY!!11111! OMG LOL HANDY TAHT IS IF ON TEH OTH3R END U HAEV A GUY U NED 2 R3AD OUT UR XML 21!111! OMG LOL MACHIENS ACTUALY AERNT TAHT GRAETFUL TAHT THEY NOW HAEV 2 PARSA THIS HUGALY V3RBOSE FORMAT1111 OMG WTF Y3T DAY AFTER DAY THOUSANDS OF P3OPLE R ENGAEGD IN MAPNG THEYRE OBJECTS 2 XML TRANSMITNG SADE XML THROUGH EVERY MADIUM CONC3IVABLE 2 MAN THEN CHANGNG THIS SALFSME XML IN2 TEH OBJ3CTS IT SUPOS3DLY ENCAPSULAETS!11!1!!! ALONG DA WAY CHANCAS R U HAEV A WHOLE BUNCH OF THNGS HAPEN 2 THIS XML1!1111 TRANSFORMATIONS MAPNGS AND OTHER SUCH STANES CAUSED BY DAVELOPARS MASTURBATNG WILDLY ON2 THIS POR IL-BGOT3N XML DOCUM3NT!!!11 NOW THIS WUD AL MAEK SENSA IF UR GONG 2 COMUNICAET WIT AXTERNAL ENTITEIS IF U W3RENT FULY IN CONTROL OF BOTH ENDS OF DA COMUNICATION CHANAL!!!1!! WTF LOL U THINK HEL Y NOT LET M3 USE SOM3THNG TAHT 3VERYONE KNOWS HOW 2 PARS3 AND HANDLE111!!1!! OMG WTF RILLY THOUGH Y BOTHAR WIT AL THIS PARSNG AND MAPNG IF UR TOKNG 2 UR?!!!! WUT SO EVIL ABOUT USNG A MORE T3RS3 AND FUNCTIONAL GRMMAR ON3 WHICH WIT A BIT OF LUK LANDS ITSELF BTAR 2 WUT UR TRYNG 2 COMUNICAET RATHER THAN SHOEHORNNG EV3RYTHNG IN2 A TRE STRUCTURE?!??!?! OMG LOL EV3N WORSA IS WHAN UR GENIUS ARCHIETCT FELS TAHT XML AND DTDS JUST AERNT SUFICEINT TAHT XML SCH3MAS MUST GAT A LOK IN 211!!1! OMG WTF SO NOW UR PASNG COMPLICAETD XML DOCUM3NTS BAK3D BY SCHEMAS AND U HAEV TWO CHOIECS!!1!!!1 OMG AITH3R U DONT VALIDAET AGANEST DA SCH3MAS (BASICALY U SLURP UP ANYTHNG W3L-FORM3D) OR U VALIDAET AGANEST THIS LOV3LY SCHEMA1!!1111 TEH FIRST OPTION MAANS TAHT SOMEONE SOMEWHERE HAS WASTED A LOT OF TIEM AND AFORT IN2 AN ASENTIALY WORTHLES SCHAMA111!! OMG LOL THEYV3 GONE AND PANETED UR BANANA BLUE!1!! LOL LOKS PR3TY (OR AT LEAST 3YE-CATCHNG) BUT IS UT3RLY USELES11!!1 WTF TEH S3COND OPTION MAANS TAHT S3NDNG THIS SIMPLE OBJACT FROM ON3 PLAEC 2 ANOTHAR IS NOW SOMETHNG TAHT TAEKS DAYS WHIEL UR VALIDA2R HM AND AHS OVAR WHETH3R UR DOCUM3NT IS VALID!!!! OMG IF UR GONG 2 B VALIDATNG EVERY XML DOCUMENT AGANEST ITS SCH3MA AT RUNTIEM THEN U RILLY R BT3R OF JUST DICTATNG DA XML DOCUM3NT 2 DA OTHER SIED ITD B FASTER!11!!!11 WTF SO PLZ BFORA U INFLICT XML DOCUMANTS AND SCHAMAS ON UR FREINDS AND FMILY CONSIEDR HOW TH3YL FEL ABOUT IT AND WHETHER ITS FARE 2 INFLICT UR MASTURBA2RY HABITS ON UR POR UNSUSPECTNG VICTIMS1!1!1!11 OMG WTF

Hani should consider providing a translated RSS feed for the benefit of his readership.

Read: The Bile - Hani finds his true voice

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